Cell Block Tango

Dudes
I need to get me to an audition right away (kind of like when Hamlet told Ophelia to get thee to a nunnery (which actually meant he was telling her to go to a whorehouse (why I don't know) ) and I don't think she went. Pretty sure she didn't. In fact I think she O'D'd on some really bad crystal meth and drowned in the bathtub and her family lied and said she drowned in the river just to save face - typical). I have decided that I want to be Mama in Chicago. I don't care that I can not sing. I can dance and I can act and I bet that with enough makeup and padding I could look like a foxy black mama (I already act and talk like one - so why not?)I just want to sing that "If you're good to Mama" song a whole bunch because it is kind of sultry and makes me happy.
Also I want to be in that dance number when they do the "Cell Block Tango" hot damn that is some sultry fun stuff.
As you may be able to tell I watched "Chicago" this weekend and I fucking fell in love with it. You may think that this is just because I am a gay man and am already pre-disposed to the love of musicals (which is not necessarily true because some musicals really suck!!! and I have seen enough to know) but this one rocked. I normally hate Renee Zellweger (or however you spell her last name) but she did not totally annoy me in this film, Catherine Zeta Jones is totally hot and I almost want to do her, and well Richard Gere is eye candy but he must have found it hard to do all that singing and dancing with that alleged hamster up his butt. Poor hamster, is nothing scared anymore?
Anyways, yes this movie rocked. It had me dancing with my friend Amy as we made our way to Shoppers Drugmart on a junk food run because Amy gets a discount and we had to take full advantage of that.
So yes please I want to be a celebrity. Oh yes I do but only in this musical, or maybe if I could play Eva Peron in "EVita" thatt would be okay as well. But seriously why is life not more like musicals. I am sure that I am not the first to ask this question, nor will I be the last but I really want to know why. It is so much fun, they get to sing and dance, and you get all of your emotions out in a really clever, super sub-plot kind of way. It totally rocks.
It is almost as clever as the song "Vogue" by madonna. Which I am sure many of you know, but do not realize that the song is meant to be a tribute to those dance songs of the 50's and 60's where the song told you how to do the dance. (see how nothing has changed in 40 years?)I love that song.
Anyways I digress, but yes that is what I want currently in my life. I also want more sleep because I did not get enough last night.

Isn't that cold?

First let me say that I already have a beef against people who ride bikes. It really annoys me that some of those who do behave in a fashion that makes them neither pedestrian nor vehicle but some sort of weird transformer typesque thing that gives them complete freedom to do whatever they want.
According to Canadian law a bicycle is a vehicle and is suppose to behave like one, you know turn signals and all of that stuff. So why do some many people who are on bikes use the sidewalk? This vendetta began many years ago when Em and I used to walk to work and on the Gordon hill we would get people trying to bike up on the sidewalk who would get all huffy because we were trying to walk up the hill. It really pissed me off. It is a sideWALK - meant for walking and not for biking. SO there is no reason to give me attitude as I am within the law and you are irritating me by being rude and breaking the law. I mean honestly, get off and walk the damn thing if you want to be on the sidewalk so badly.
Now I realise that a lot of people do this because they are afraid that they area going to get hit by a car, but I think that the odds of getting hit by a car on a bike are about the same as getting hit by a car whilst in a car -so suck it up princesses. You don't see people in cars who are afraid of traffic accidents driving on the sidewalk do you? (Well not in real life anyway)
But today is not really a complaint about bikers, but just a quandry. Why on earth do people bike in the middle of winter? I mean, isn't that cold? Doesn't it feel like your face is going to freeze off and that you are going to get frost bite? I mean I just don't get it.
I do get the whole environmental thing and that it is good excercise, but is getting pneumonia really worth it? It is so cold right now and I see people on bikes and all I can think is - WHY? It makes no sense to me. Maybe this is because my main forum of travel is walking or the subway, but come on now kids what is this all about?
So I guess if you want to bike in the winter you should do so. At least it keeps you bike people off the sidewalks since usually they are not as nicely plowed as the streets.

Cameron's not the only one who can post song lyrics

Mutiny on the Electronic Bay
against me!

It's an into the sunrise aesthetic,
Let's pretend this is an informed consent.
That class division doesn't make an infantry,
there is no incentive, no franchise opportunities.
And the magazine spreads, fashion models gas masks in hand,
it's okay, it's alright, these are situations we learn to live in.
When an invasion can bring a country its freedom,
then unconciousness is true happiness,
no, I don't know what to say.

My MARC record

See I told you I was a geek - here is my delightful MARC record. I feel like the mother of a newborn baby.



Orinoco Flow: [text] : culture, narrative, and the political economy of information / by Benjamin Keith Belton. – [1st ed]. – Lanham, Maryland : Scarecrow Press , c2003.
218 p. ; 14 x 21.6 cm.

Includes Index.
Includes Bibliography.
ISBN 0-8108-4831-7


Marc Coding

Type: a Bib l: m Desc: a Ctry: xxu Lang: Eng Srce: d
Dat tp: s Date: 2003

Variable Fields Indicators Subfields with Bibliographic Data

020 b b |a 081848317
040 b b |a Ca OT ULS |b eng |c OT ULS
043 b b |a ve
100 1 b |a Belton, Benjamin Keith
245 1 0 |a Orinoco Flow b:b |b culture, narrative, and the political economy of information b |c Benjamin Keith Belton
260 b b |a Lanham, mdu : |b The Scarecrow press |c c2003
300 b b |a vii, 218 p.
504 b b |a Includes bibliographic notes (p.193-211) and indexes.
650 b 0 |a Narration |x rhetoric
650 b 0 |a Space and time
650 b 0 |a Literature and history
650 b 0 |a Myth in literature
650 b 0 |a Information society
650 b 0 |a Consumption |x economics
650 b 0 |a Culture
651 b 0 |a Venezuela
651 b 0 |a Orinoco River Region

Is that not a piece of art?

Dork is the new Geek

I have gotten geekier.
It is sad but true.
Not only am I attending the OLA conference in hopes of rubbing elbows with future librarians whom I might like and can make connections that way (future librarians of the world unite).
But I have become a card carrying member of Lexis Nexis. Yes, that is right. I had to sign up for this service for my legal librarian ship class and they actually sent me membership cards. I mean what is that about? I have the cards in my wallet becuase they have vital information on them for my usage of the service. However, as soon as I slipped them into my wallet I realized that I had just gone from being a potential librarian action figure to dork of the universe. Alas, I guess I must give a little to get some but who knew that it would make me feel like such a geek.
And to make it worse I completed my first MARC record this past weekend and to be perfectly frank I am damn proud of the thing. It is almost a work of art. Not only do I now know what all the fields stand for, I can enter in the proper bibliographic citations to make these items accessible in OPACs.

So I guess it is official I am a librarian at heart. But damn it was almost fun making that MARC record and I get to make three more of them this semster, whooo hoooo.

All right now I am getting serious, what should I wear to this conference? hmmm? I need suggestions. I was thinking full on suit, shirt, tie jacket - the whole works. Stan thinks that it is over doing it, he thinks that just a dress shirt and nice slacks is fine. Mel thinks the tie, shirt and slacks but no jacket, and Annie thinks that jeans and a t-shirt are totally okay. So what should I wear?

Super duper conference

I did it.
Today I have officially become a librarian nerd. I have joined the Ontario Library Association. I am a student member. Whoo hooo.
I am only doing this so that I can attend the OLA super conference here in T.O. in two weeks time. I want to go because there is what I hope will be a really good lecture on children's librarianship (the area that I am most interested in)and that there will be lots of potential future employers who are there to head hunt and scout out new employees. I hate the fact that I have to do this to go schmooze and try to get a job and that I have to you know, look good, and smell nice and be on my best behaviour. I don't think that advise of being yourself is going to go down to well in this situation. I can not walk up to some library professional that I don't know who may be a future employer and start taking about fisting or S&M or how much food I ate that time I ate a lot of food (although all of this would be fun, I doubt that it will get me ajob any time soon).
So I will be attending this conference, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm I hope that I will have a good time. I am totally reluctant about this whole OLA thing, but what can I do? Next I have to join the CLA and then maybe even the ALA - will it ever end? How much money do they think we librarians have?
Tsk tsk

I did not expect ass right away

Oh my goodness
I saw a co-worker naked. I am talking serious butt ass, about to get in the shower, totally naked. It was awful. I did not expect this to ever happen. I have never even fantasized about seeing a co-worker naked. Okay, well the guy I made out with yes, but at least he was hot and we had made out. This guy, no way, uh uh, never ever once even thought about it. And then it happened.

It would not have happened if I had not decided that I was going to get in shape by doing yoga and pilates. I used to do yoga and I totally loved it but since moving to T.O. I have not had the time or the money to do it, but through school I can do it rather cheaply (if you read that sentence all by itself it sounds kind of dirty you know).

So I had my first pilates class which was wicked. I like the instructor and I dig what we did and the pace and what I was learning and the whole entire mind/body connection element is just what I was looking for since in my other work outs I just turn on my music and go like a mad man and only pay attention to my body when it screams for release or I can not breathe.

Well the not breathing part was how I felt when I saw my co-worker naked. I was in the change room and well, was you know changing. I myself was not in a state of undressed when he walked by. I was shocked. This guy has some sort of flabby old man disease about his skin and body - which is really too bad since I think he is only in his late thirties early fourties. But since I did not expect to see him naked I did not expect to ever have to now this, so I was not prepared for any of the eventualities. So he walked by and he saw me and said "Hi, . . . " and I said "Hello" and he kept going and I saw his sagging back porch. Well, I hate to be mean or whatever but dude, he just had like two pouches of really saggy, stretched out skin just kind of hanging there. I have the feeling that as a younger man he would have had no butt, just a back with a crack. But seeing this - eek!

I will never be able to face this man again. Every time I see him I am going to have to think of this experience and now the truth. And it is possible that I am the only person who works with him that has seen him without his clothes and to be frank I don't want to be the person who has that privilege. Help!

Office air

Since I am stuck in the office tonight until 7pm, I am going to complain about the lousy quality of air in most office buildings.

You'd think that places would want their employees to function at their highest level, since it would theoretically make them be productive employees, but I have yet to be in an office building that has good air circulation/ventilation. Gross, recycled, already breathed air turns people into zombies who don't want to work, not happy, productive members of the workforce!

Seriously, how am I supposed to concentrate well with a nagging headache and a lethargic mind?

Something needs to be done about this, because it just makes me even more cranky to be dealing with the people I have to deal with.

I can be bought off with a significant pay raise instead of fresh air, though. (I mean, not everyone can be perfect.)

I am thwarted at every attempt

People!
They drive me crazy. Now don't get me wrong, I do like some of these creatures but for every one I like there seems to be ten that have been sent here to destroy me, or at least make me want to hurt them in a really bad not so positive kind of painful way.
The current individual is a co-worker. Oh my fucking God does he drive me nuts! First off he has been working at the library for I don't know how long and is he ever bitter about the fact that he did not finish his MISt and can therefore no longer climb the corporate ladder (or whatever they make call it in libraries). He is also really really strange. He talks at me (not with) about astrology all the time and I just do not care. He tried to guess my sign and it took him 12 tries. I mean honestly, he knew eventually that he would get it so why not just use the power of deduction in the first place.
Yoga will not save this man. Nothing can. But my beef right now is that he does not do his job. He is suppose to shelve for the entire floor as he is in a sense my superior, but he does not. He only shelves in a specific section and that section just happens to be the least busy section of the floor I work on. Drives me mad. So, not only does he not shelve the majority of the books he fills up the trucks and then hides them so it looks like he is more effecient then the rest of us and that we are all slow, but in fact, there are about 7 book trucks hidden in the stacks that he needs to put away.
This person really frustrates me (especially when he wears his red t-shirt with the red belt and he thinks that he is so fashionable. I was also wearing a red T one day and he commmented that we were practially brothers (uh huh)) becuase he makes my job twice as hard and then I feel like not doing anything because he doesn't and I know that this is not the right attitude. SIgh.
What can I do about this situation? I have already lodged a complaint against him, what more can I do?

On the plus side I got my review and it was spectacular. Whooppe for me.

Criminal with protection from the law.

Someone totally forgot to ask us when they created racists and bigots. Grrr.

So, I work at an international development, non-profit NGO, "for just a dollar a day you can help children in need" place. And lately, the racists, annoying fucks are phoning in full-force. At least once a day I get "I would prefer to sponsor a Christian child" when they're currently sponsoring a Hindu child (or some other religion. Pick one. I've yet to get someone saying they'd rather not sponsor an animist, though. They're less offensive to super-religious people, perhaps?) , or "I'd rather not sponsor a child in Egypt, if you don't mind", or what have you. They're usually a little subtle in their bigotry, right?

Not today. Oh no. Today was straight up "I want to sponsor a white child, not a coloured one."

Fuck. You.

And dude, overall, white children are doing just dandy. We ain't got any straight up white children in the areas we work, because they tend to live in areas that are not in need, which also happen to be areas that do not need us. Funny that.

I wonder if she'll call back after I assign a child from South America?

Some fucking people.

This Ones For The Boys

Burn it all and break your home
This one's for the boys
You're a vain and shameless man
But hell, i love your voice

Skinny fingers and mumbling mouths
I'd like to mark your words
'Cause sometimes i don't trust you
When you're singing
Of love and play
It's the story of you

Losing to your daydream
You dancing with a smokescreen
Goin' under with your daydream
In the wake of a big machine

Honey honey and money and man
All my lonely boys
Easy with the slight of hand
You're talking sweet
'Bout the pain and the ladies

And sometimes you look ugly
When you're happy
And sometimes you look better
When you're down
A real good song
It's the story of you

Losing to your daydream
You dancing with a smokescreen
Goin' under with your daydream
You're sliding through the big sleep

Man, you can sing
Like you're tryin' to break my heart
And you can hate
And you can blame it on the stars
You're strung up in your guitar
You're strung out on who you are
Now come on boys, it's time you let it go

See me losing to your daydream
See me dancing with your smokescreen
Going under with your daydream

In the wake of the big machine
In the wake of the big machine
In the wake of the big machine

Back in the saddle again...

Thanks for the lovely welcome, my dear. I appreciate it.

And since as of tomorrow, I should finally have the internet at home, I should be able to update here much more regularly than I did with our original blog. How exciting!

But as for now, work calls, so I must rush away.

Toodles and hugs.

xo

We're back!!!!

Hey kids

The two of us are back and we are about to unleash our brand of anger management on the world.
First off - Emily welcome back, I have missed you in this forum. And I once again apoplogize that I had to take down the blog but you understand that I needed no more shit in my life (and have I learned from this valuable lesson? I guess we will find out) after what happened last week.

To the rest of you beware, we are going to attempt to stir shit up and make the world a better place to live. Which it would be if anyone had asked either one of us in the first place before making some of the decisions that they do, sheesh what is wrong with you people?

Sugar Coma

I ate so much this weekend and I do not know why.
It was not as bad as when I was studying in London and on S.A.D. (aka: Singles Awareness Day, otherwise known as Valentines Day) I suggested that we all go buy a tub of ice cream each and that we get a topping and then eat the ice cream as fast as we can while sharing the toppings and whoever finishes their's first is the winner of the eating olympics. I won, but I regret it. And I have won the eating/drinking olympics four years in a row now. But ugh, I am beginning to regert this whole eating so much that I think I will explode thing. I don't know how I used to do it.
Em and I used to get together and eat like a whole pizza, cinnamon buns, pop, chips, chocolate bars and many other things and I would still feel okay. These days when i eat that much I do not feel okay. I feel gross and want to die. Maybe I should go back to drinking a lot, but I don't really want to do that either. I need some other addiction.
At least none of this is as bad as the time that I tried the healing power of food, ugh was that not a pretty night. I had a really bad day at work (really, incredibly bad) and I came home and ate: 4 pizza pops, 11 spring rolls, 6 chicken fingers, a plate of nachos with salsa and sour cream, 3 bowls of ice cream, 5 chocolate bars (of assorted variety) and a slice of cake - I really did not feel good after that. In fact I felt really, really bad.
So I wonder what it is about me that makes me forget how awful I felt the last time and allows me to consume my weight in sugar. I mean every time I do this I regret it, I sit there and feel really full and icky, but when I decide that I am going to do this I usually think - yeah! I am going to feel so satisfied by this, but I don't. I never do.
I think this may be an addiction and I may need help. Do you think that I have an eating disorder? Should I be eating more prunes to help cleanse my system (now is it just me or when you do eat a lot of prunes, should your feces have that prunelike smell? Because I have noticed this in myself and well it kind of freaks me out)? Or should I just try more self-restraint. Or should I stop smoking a big fattie beforehand and then just eradicate this problem all together. I don't know, but today I just plain don't feel good.

Here it comes

All right the last blog that I had was removed because some whiny member of the public whom knows me made a threat that they were going to get to inform people that I had talked about that I had talked about them, although identities were not clear and this person did not know specifically who I was talking about - or whether or not what I was saying was "A JOKE!". There is no way to know if what I am publishing is the truth or not.
Oh and to whomever that was, I looked it up. Posting comments on a blog does not fit under the legal definition of slander as I did not use the full persons name and I did not print the information in a mainstream arena that was easily accessible. Posting on a blog format requires the searching out of the information which means that you inherently agree to read the material and as no one forced you to read the material it is not slander. Oh and by the way Slander usually has to be spoken, if it is written then it falls under "Libel" canadian law(but I am being nitpicky about those oh so courages individuals who are attempting to holier than thou, but are afraid to identify themselves. I love threats and demands from annonymous people, makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside) I know this as I am taking a course on legal librarianship and well, I have lots of access to very fascinating resources that the average public individual does not.
So I am back and I don't care and who ever it was can kiss my ass, because although the other blog was deleted I had already been thinking about abandoning it as it was bringing up other issues that I found objetive to my life and happiness.
So I hope that those who missed myself and my friend are happy that we are back and will once again begin our own self righteous brand of pop psychology because our pain is different.