I realise that this it a totally lame, and high schoolesque post, but give me a break okay? It is important to me and my developing better relationships with men.
There are two guys at my gym who I think are hotties!
I don't know why.
They are both shorter then me, older than me, and losing their hair.
But I find them both incredibly, undeniably sexy! Oh so sexy, to the point that I can barely function when I see them. This has never really happened to me before except with Scott and well, most of you know how well that went.
Anyways, I have been doing my best to check these guys out and be all smiley with them, but the thought of talking to one of them has completely totally alluded me because I have no idea what to say, and the fact that I feel like vomiting when one of them walks by does not help the whole situation.
But today that all has changed.
First tea and back story . . .
yesterday sucked! Big time, totally, you have no idea (yes I am a valley girl in high school - but I am also a socialite and icon so fuck you!). Yesterday was my birthday (which historically has not been the most fun of days) and I was abused by patrons all day to the point that i wanted to cry. I was calling schools for outreach and so many secretaries were crusty bitches to me, and all I wanted to do was go home and sit and stare at the wall. So I did.
And then I regretted the fact that I was letting the past control me so much. That instead of truly celebrating me and who I am and what a beautiful person I am, I let myself be stuck in the mire of an unhappy past. And that made me even more depressed.
But this morning at the gym I decided I had had enough of that crap. I decided that it was time for me to make my way and to quit waiting. So that is what I did, I ran into hot guy #1 and I made chit chat with him, it lasted only 2 minutes but I got a sense of who he is and what he is all about and I had decided that he is cuter. Sigh.
Then I made lots of smiling at bachelor #2 who was on the track while I was lifting weights. And so my next operation is to talk to him. I am expecting nothing out of these interactions, I just want to learn to be better able to talk to men and to appraoch them and find out what I want.
Wish me luck.