Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Another Reason why I hate people

I am someone who is fairly concerned about the environment and global warming.
Although I went out and bought an air conditioner two summers ago, I rarely use it. In fact last summer I never even turned it on. It is not that I was not hot, just not hot enough to warrant destroying the planet (even though it is an environmentally friendly one).
This morning on my way to the gym a townhouse very clearly had turned their AC on. It was going at top speed.
I was offended.
How wasteful, how ridiculous to turn on the AC at the end of April.

Just fucking open a window for christ's sake!

Monday, April 21, 2008

I'd rather myspace instead

I am desperate to communicate with my extended family but I don't know why.
I consider writing letters to them.
Yelling at them.
Freaking out on them.
And I do not know why.
I consider that I am angry at them and that it would be a good release, but I think inevitably that it will still lead me back to the same place that I am in.
I am aware that change does not really occur within the social peramaters of my family.
They do not like things to be different.
They do not like things to be challenging.
I guess they don't like reality is what they don't like. Or at least that is my perspective of them.
They don't want to have to accomodate someone who is different then they since that seems to challenge them a little too much. But once again that is my opinion of them.

How does one get past this kind of thing? A desire for something that makes no sense to have, as it will never be what I want it to be.

I think I am looking for validation and acceptance. But I don't really know why. Does it go beyond anything other than them being blood-relations? Or that I have known them a great deal of my life? But in all that time of knowing them I have never liked them and vice versa.
So why is it now that I am not there that I so very much want to explain to them how they made me feel? How much their actions have hurt me. How much they ignored me as a youth. How much they continue to ignore me now, but ha ha! I am ignoring them back this time. And why don't they want to know me? What is it that is so wrong with me that they never took the time then? And now I seem to want to just be angry at them, but I no longer seem to have the energy or the interest.
Why is letting go of things that I never really had so hard?
Why does this nagging desire remain a constant?
Oh it bothers me so very much.

Friday, April 11, 2008

My page adores me

This is not science fiction, we are not rabbits.

Friday, April 04, 2008

Location, location, location

I interviewed over a month ago for a service specialist contract at the Parliament Branch.
I kept waiting to hear and heard nothing so I assumed that I was going to be finishing my Albion contract and then heading back to Alderwood for a brief stint before heading out on another contract.
But hurrah and hallelujah!
I got the service specialist position.
Which means I get a new job to do. I get to do collection development. I get a pay increase.
And best of all it is within walking distance.
6 months of walking to work, how happy am I?

Just one of those things

Today at work I was searching for Water Filter information.
Instead I typed WALTER filter.
I was at first perplexed at my lack of results.
Then I re-read what I had written.

And as Freudian as this slip may be
I only thought to myself
"wouldn't that be nice filter to have?"