So this is my horoscope from Now. I thought it was rather appropriate for my life right now:
Happy Holy Daze, Sagittarius! I've been meditating on the perfect holiday gift for you. What would best get you ready for 2006? What symbolic offering might motivate you to take maximum advantage of the astrological opportunities? And the answer is: the biggest, baddest, vacuum cleaner ever made, a sleek, chic, cleaning machine with turbocharged suction power (oooh la la), 100 different attachments and a very long reach. Such a gift would, I think, be an inspiring metaphor as you dive into the coming year's most important project: to purge every last bit of messiness and chaos and karmic dirt that has accumulated in your life during the last 10 years.
Well, my my my.
Hopefully this prospect is just as exciting as the prospect of seeing Jerri SPringer: The Opera.