Friday, December 09, 2005

I feel funny

I feel funny, is it over? Am I dead or asleep on the sofa?
I am feeling really really strange today.
I feel all anticipatory and I don't know why.
I was feeling really good before right now, but in the past hour or so I have become angst ridden. I don't know why and I don't like it.
It all started when I was sitting in my office thinking about how good things have become recently.
I am very happy with my job, my therapy is going well and I feel that I have started to be involved with the healing process, and I love my apartment and my cats and I am getting a new bed and new living room furniture so it is all good. Also without even realizing what I was doing I said good morning to one of the guys i think is hot at the gym, if I keep this up I may have to go on a date or something. And my hottie teacher with the calvin klein underwear was in today and was flirting with me. Sigh. And I flirted back.
So why do I feel so bad right now?
I was about to cry tears of happiness but this is not happening now I just feel funny.
Oh wait now I feel like crying again.
Am I letting go or am I putting up another wall?


At Saturday, 10 December, 2005, Blogger mainja said...

i love you.


i guess the thing is, the journey isn't a straight continum, as much as we'd like it to be. it weaves back and forth. eventually it moves forward most of the time and only occassionally slips back to the melancholic place, but although it feels like it's been ages, you're in early days yet.

you're doing amazing work, you're giving yourself amazing things, keep it up, just to be uber cheezy, you will reap what you have sewn.

At Saturday, 10 December, 2005, Blogger Jean-Louis said...

Hey bub, you're sounding a tad emo. I've been that way lately too. I guess that it may just be wise to step back and look at yourself from a third-person perspective.

Oh, and I wish that I had your cats!


Post a Comment

<< Home