I miss who I used to be (sort of)

Do any of you remember how cute I was when I was younger.
I am not talking like in that baby photo of me where I have birthday cake all over my face, although I do look cute in that photo and have not had that much cake on my face since (I think I should revisit that look).
I mean more of my undergrad days when I felt that I was so adorable! Remember when I dressed like a club kid and carried my lunch box and smoked and was fabulous? I do, but I think that I have romantacized it to a point beyong actual comprehension. For some reason I can not remember all that was goign on in that time of my life. I remember feeling much more confident than I feel now, and I remember feeling like life was a lot more fun than it feels now. But I don't know.
Has my aging and maturing made me look back at those U of G days with that much fondness? Has my work on myself actually made me see those days as being much more happy then they were? I remember feeling lost a lot, and I remember not really being happy. I also remember that I was not myself then. That I was a product of a desire to run away from myself.
On the show "Wonderfalls" one of the characters comments, that change is hard enough - so why make it harder for the person going through it? Good point. I am going through a lot of change and I keep making it hard on myself because I feel that I should be progressing faster or that I should be a concrete person by now. I realise that out of the unattainable expectations that were put on me by my parents to be perfect that I have now continued the cycle and put the expectations on myself. And I really don't like it.
My nostalgia for the old days is symptomatic of the fact that back then I was faking it so real I was beyond fake (thanks Courtney). And now that I actually am trying to be me and find myself I am finding it exceptionally hard. The funny part being that all I have to do is just do it.
But in doing that I have to undo a lot.
So I miss who I used to be, only in the sense that I was playing a part and did not have to be myself.
Why do simple things seem so hard?