Friday, January 16, 2009

File under: just plain weird and democratic

They are now apparently making Barack Obama dildoes.
Only two comments: don't the ears hurt?
and how do you keep it clean?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Celebrity Fabric

I was just on Go Fug Yourself and was perusing all the dresses and fashions of the Golden Globe awareds.
I would prefer to look at all the snazzy men in their super hot tuxedo's, but of course since they all look the same no one posts them. It is all about the women. Who wore who? How well did they wear it? What did their hair look like? Who did they get their jewelry from? Honestly why not just tape Joan Collins and have her voice behind the pictures saying "who are you wearing? who are you wearing?"
And a thought occurred to me. Well actually several thoughts, but the overwhelming one was - how the fuck do those bitches move in some of those dresses?
Honestly. What sadistic, evil person designed and created those dresses that some of the women look like they had to cover themselves in vaseline just to get into. And the awkward shapes, seams and hemlines. Honestly - whatever happened to fashion being comfortable? I actually applaud Glenn Close for her simple pant suit, at least if the building catches on fire (or if someone just yells the word) she can push Zellweger and Barrymore aside and be the first to escape. Those other bitches? They are more than likely toast.
And the other thought I had was - how wasteful is this?
How much do those dresses cost?
The jewelry?
The hair?
I bet what all those women spent on their appearance would be able to fund all of Africa to eat for at least 6 months.
Or fund AIDS research to find a cure that much faster.
Or cancer.
Or stop global warming.
To be perefectly honest I don't care who wore what and how well they wore it.
What I care about is that these people to seem to have more money then they know what to do with and I think they should have to pay a tax or a fee to be able to attend these shows to preen around like peacocks.
Cause even two weeks from now, no one cares who wore what. But I know I care about clean air and water, and people not dying needlessly.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

File under: super creepy

Really I think the picture says it all.
You can see more of these kind of dolls at:

Mr. Information is annoyed by sheer stupidity

One of the great joys of being a librarian is that you get to help people who genuinly appreciate it.
It is always nice when someone says Thank you for doing your job.
However, we also deal with a bunch of fucking morons who come to the library simply because they know that we are a captive audience and have to help them (within reason).
My most recent brush with retarstupilameness is with my least favourite patron of this library (each library has one, and I am sure that these people don't know who they are or how much we the library staff HATE them) is one who comes in, does not want books, only wants print outs from the internet, but does not want to pay for them since she does not want a book. (I found out that the reason she does not want books is that she can not return them - at all. This is not someone who has difficulty returning books on time, but she thinks that once she checks them out that they should become part of her personal library - so precious she is).
This woman's most recent request was that she wanted to know exactly how time travel worked. I calmly told her that as far as I was aware time travel was science fiction and thus I could not give her any actual "information" on how it would occur.
She still wanted the information on the specifics of time travel.
Again I reiterated that the information that I could find would all be fiction and so therefore is not actually information, but ummm . . . well entertaiment.
She had difficulty accepting this. Asking me several times why I could not find information on how time travel works (she likes to pretend that I don't know how to do my job or that I am purposfully not giving her the information just cause I like to have all the power).
Finally she changed her mind, it was not time travel at all that she wanted but time zones.
No, no wait - not time zones but time capsules. How specifically do time capsules work?
Okay, now for this question I have to be honest, how can you not be aware on the general idea of how a time capsule works? (for those of you who are reading this and saying "how does a time caspule work?" - I HATE YOU! and it works by putting something into a protective package, burying it, and then years later digging it up and being awed by how much has changed) I almost asked her if she was serious. Instead I went to wikipedia, looked it up, printed it out and got rid of her.

And the odd thing is that she did not thank me for my hard work with her.
Some people's children, honestly!

Friday, January 02, 2009

Back to Crack

On New Year's Eve I was having dinner with a group of friends and some people I had just met.
One of the people I had just met works for the worlds biggest bookstore. Finding a book person to bond with is always exciting for myself, both as a reader as a library employee - since I find the experience to be intensley similiar, but also rather different (for example they can kick people out without a lot of paper work - I can not) So she and I got to talking and she told me that the most common stolen item from the bookstore are the Urban Literature books. What the patrons do are rip off the barcodes. Which is hilarious as that is not where the security code is at all. So she finds little stacks of barcodes all over the place from these books.
I found this to be funny as the most common stolen item from my library is also the urban literature books.
I find it funny as that the books here are free. You can take them home and then bring them back. We really don't care. But they get stolen all the time.
I wonder why?