A long slow collision
So I have been absent from here for a while.
Part of it is that life has been rather hectic. Work is busier, I am going for an interview for a service specialist position on monday, relationship stuff, etc.
But there has been engrossing family news after I sent the letter. I did post part of the letter previously. However, I wrote more and had Monster Squad read it over and had bestie read it as well and make suggestions. So I sent the letter on to my Aunt and Uncle.
My sister informed me to not expect a response. That my letter was too much, and that they can no longer deal with me.
I am not really all that suprised by this reaction.
Nor am I all that upset.
I think that this has been a long time coming.
My family and I have never gotten along. They hold themselves far too closely for me to understand them, they never communicate, or work on their problems as far as I can see. They simply ignore them and repress them and this is all bad news in my opinion.
So I guess you can not fire me because I quit. I give up. I called it a day. It is over.
I did cry a little bit that my idea of a blood family will not come to fruition. I also felt a huge sigh of relief that I no longer have to pretend with them.
The one thing that still sticks with me is that when I told Monster Squad, I said "it is too bad that they will never actually know me" and I think that is the tragedy of this. They are so busy looking at a stereotype and worried about what the neighbours may think that they have never actually ever found out who I am.
In part this was becuase I did not know who I was completely, but also this is because they never took the interest of the initiative to find out.
Indeed a long and slow collision with no fatalities.