Thursday, January 31, 2008

A long slow collision

So I have been absent from here for a while.
Part of it is that life has been rather hectic. Work is busier, I am going for an interview for a service specialist position on monday, relationship stuff, etc.

But there has been engrossing family news after I sent the letter. I did post part of the letter previously. However, I wrote more and had Monster Squad read it over and had bestie read it as well and make suggestions. So I sent the letter on to my Aunt and Uncle.
My sister informed me to not expect a response. That my letter was too much, and that they can no longer deal with me.
I am not really all that suprised by this reaction.
Nor am I all that upset.
I think that this has been a long time coming.
My family and I have never gotten along. They hold themselves far too closely for me to understand them, they never communicate, or work on their problems as far as I can see. They simply ignore them and repress them and this is all bad news in my opinion.
So I guess you can not fire me because I quit. I give up. I called it a day. It is over.
I did cry a little bit that my idea of a blood family will not come to fruition. I also felt a huge sigh of relief that I no longer have to pretend with them.
The one thing that still sticks with me is that when I told Monster Squad, I said "it is too bad that they will never actually know me" and I think that is the tragedy of this. They are so busy looking at a stereotype and worried about what the neighbours may think that they have never actually ever found out who I am.
In part this was becuase I did not know who I was completely, but also this is because they never took the interest of the initiative to find out.
Indeed a long and slow collision with no fatalities.

2 Comments:

At Friday, 01 February, 2008, Blogger emily said...

It is very sad that your family have decided to be like that.

However, you can create a new family, and I would like to volunteer for a part in it!

xoxoxo

 
At Thursday, 14 February, 2008, Blogger Brice said...

Sorry that you're having such a tough time.
I've always held my chosen family (friends) closer, as they're with me for no other reason than who I am. Blood families are over-rated, as you're socially obligated to be "family" even if it doesn't work.

And I know some of your chosen family, and you're a lucky man for them.

 

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