Thursday, January 31, 2008

A long slow collision

So I have been absent from here for a while.
Part of it is that life has been rather hectic. Work is busier, I am going for an interview for a service specialist position on monday, relationship stuff, etc.

But there has been engrossing family news after I sent the letter. I did post part of the letter previously. However, I wrote more and had Monster Squad read it over and had bestie read it as well and make suggestions. So I sent the letter on to my Aunt and Uncle.
My sister informed me to not expect a response. That my letter was too much, and that they can no longer deal with me.
I am not really all that suprised by this reaction.
Nor am I all that upset.
I think that this has been a long time coming.
My family and I have never gotten along. They hold themselves far too closely for me to understand them, they never communicate, or work on their problems as far as I can see. They simply ignore them and repress them and this is all bad news in my opinion.
So I guess you can not fire me because I quit. I give up. I called it a day. It is over.
I did cry a little bit that my idea of a blood family will not come to fruition. I also felt a huge sigh of relief that I no longer have to pretend with them.
The one thing that still sticks with me is that when I told Monster Squad, I said "it is too bad that they will never actually know me" and I think that is the tragedy of this. They are so busy looking at a stereotype and worried about what the neighbours may think that they have never actually ever found out who I am.
In part this was becuase I did not know who I was completely, but also this is because they never took the interest of the initiative to find out.
Indeed a long and slow collision with no fatalities.


At Friday, 01 February, 2008, Blogger emily said...

It is very sad that your family have decided to be like that.

However, you can create a new family, and I would like to volunteer for a part in it!


At Thursday, 14 February, 2008, Blogger Brice said...

Sorry that you're having such a tough time.
I've always held my chosen family (friends) closer, as they're with me for no other reason than who I am. Blood families are over-rated, as you're socially obligated to be "family" even if it doesn't work.

And I know some of your chosen family, and you're a lucky man for them.


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