Thursday, December 28, 2006

My predictable horriblescope

Sagittarius(Nov. 22 - Dec. 21)

You have so much to look forward to because lucky Jupiter is in your sign for the first time in 12 years. This is perfect timing: you're preparing for some kind of immediate success down the road, and Jupiter is greasing the wheels for everything to fall into place. The Romans called Jupiter "Jove," hence the origin of the term "jovial." Having Jupiter in your sign will boost your happiness quotient this year, attracting people and opportunities to you. Its ability to attract wealth and good things might even make you gain weight! Jupiter also heralds the beginning of a new 12-year learning cycle -- this is the year to discover who you are. You will be happy with the impression you leave on others, and your greater self-confidence and poise will impress the world. Encounters with others will work to your advantage. This will be a lucky year for you. Your Sagittarius mantra "I appreciate who I am and what I have."

Saturday, December 23, 2006

If I have to bite a frog can it be a chocolate frog?

Yesterday was not a good day.
First at the gym my I-pod freezes only 13 minutes into my workout. I hate that and it is still frozen so I have to send it to be repaired again. Good thing I got the extended warranty but now it is 2 weeks without music to get sweaty by.
Then I get home to listen to some music while getting ready for work to find out that one of my speakers has a funny buzz to it. Not happy, I fiddle with it to no avail, so I may have to get new speakers as well.
Then whilst doing my dishes my sink backs up. I open the cupboard to look at it and see that it is dripping, I move my empty waste basket to put it under it, just tapping this little metal piece that then falls off and all the water comes gushing out. Sigh.
I pop into my landlord to let him know and he says the plumber is on vacation - can't this wait? Ummmmm - NO! I need a sink I can not wash my dishes in the bath tub. That is nasty!
But at least I got the three things that could go wrong in my day out of the way first thing. Then I spent the rest of the day at work cleaning out the files since they had not been weeded in almost 20 years.

Friday, December 15, 2006

The sounds of my nose

I have really loud sneezes.
I am not bragging, I hate them.
Working in a library when you sneeze as loudly as I do everyone knows that you have just sneezed.
It is a little embarassing when you sneeze and people step out of the stacks to look at you.
And the thing that really drives me nuts is that when I was a younger boy I used to hate how loud my father sneezed and was so thankful that I did not.
and now I do.
And I don't like it.
How do I get a more dainty effeminate sneeze? My sneeze is the butchest thing about me.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

I lost my fifteen minutes

Today at work I was a part of setting a world record.
My library was one of many taking part in an attempt to break the world record of the most people reading simultaneously across Canada.
We read an excerpt from Charlottes Web, (yes this is a huge publicity campaign for the movie) and it was hosted by some guy name Ajay from YTV.
But this is the best part, I get to be on TV for participating as a librarian.
Oh yeah I am just that cool, so cool that they wanted me to be a part of the live taping.
Fame and fortune here I come.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

I'm not a fan . . . but come on people

I just saw a posting of a photo of Tom Cruise in the internet. The website was making fun of him saying that he had "man boobs."
What the hell is that about?
He looks like himself in the photo. Maybe not as buff as usual but so what? I do not understand this continual obsession we have with celebrities and how they appear. Why do they have to be perfect? Why can't Tom (albeit he is crazy) gain weight? Sometimes weight just happens, and it annoys me to the point that I think it is disgusting that we have created this cycle of feeling that we are pressured by the media to look a certain way, but then we pressure media icons/darlings/lunatics to look the way that we are complaining we are pressured to look.
Does that make any sense?

Saturday, December 09, 2006

kissing things

I like kissing a lot.
I really enjoy it. It is one of the best ways that I can think of to spend an afternoon, morning, break, elevator ride, evening, movie, etc, you name it I want to kiss at it.
I only really like kissing when it is someone I like.
As much as I hate to admit it Jackass was a good kisser. Flight Attendant not so much. And there have been a myriad of others who I remember with great fondness and others I forgot almost instantly (she knows who she is).
And then there is my ongoing weird problem of straight boys who want to kiss me or at least flirt with me on the topic.
The last one I had to save myself from and end the relationship. This guy has the really irritating and patriarchal way of justifying his behaviour with the notion "that is just who I am". Well I big fuck you to that.
That is not just who you are.
Do you flirt with your straight male friends? I seriously doubt it, cause most straight men are not going to be okay with their other straight friends hitting on them, rubbing their head, trying to hold their hand, making sexual passes at them, etc. And if they are okay with that they are probably really gay.
I just do not understand the inherent ideology that gay men are always on. That we are wanting of sexual action all the time. It is the same as B sending me the naked photos of himself, yes you are hot, but why assume that I want to see the naked erect hotness of yourself.
And as much as I like kissing I do not necessarily want to kiss all the boys (well I do but only to teach them how to cry) and I am pretty picky about who I Kiss.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Getting to know me, getting to know all about me (again and again cause I am bored at work)

Me from A - Z
Accent – San Fransisco
Booze of choice – Red wine, prefer Merlot
Chore I hate – Farm chores – never doing them again
Dog or cat -- have 2 cats, want dog someday
Essential electronics – coputer, tv, dvd player, I-pod
Favorite cologne – Atomic Cocktale
Gold or silver? -- Silver
Hometown -- Warsaw, ON
Insomnia? – Only when I have too much to think about
Job title – Children and Youth Services Librarian
Kids – adore em for the most part
Living arrangement – alone with two cats and some fish
Most admired trait – too many to name
Number of sexual partners – none of your business
Overnight hospital stays -- none
Phobias – dying alone
Quote -- "drugs are bad, don’t do them”
Religion – The cult of Donna
Siblings – 2 older sisters
Time I wake up – Depends on the day
Unusual talent – I dunno
Vegetable I refuse to eat – Squash – bleh!
Worst habit – Eat way too much
X-rays – Stomach and lungs
Yummy foods I make – Pasta, cookies, brownies, SHF pie, pretty much anything really
Zodiac sign -- Saggie

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

The Devil farts in my face . . . again

My fight with HR continues.
Apparently I can indeed have two start dates at my job. So now we are taking a grievance to the Union to get rid of this stupidity.
And I was also enrolled for benefits way before I was supposed to be, which means I was paying for benefits I was not using and that technically I was not even eligible for. I want my money back, and I want my raise.
How on earth can HR be so inefficient?

Like a homo with amnesia I was coming out every week

Those ain't your funions! Those are foxy's funions! Get your hands off her funions.

I have never had funions. You can only get them in America, or at least that is the only place as far as I know.
I want some funions. It bugs me when you can get something in a country that is so close but for some reason it has never been marketed here. Or when those evil fuckers discontinue one product in one country (aka: guacamole doritos in Canada) but keep the product in the other country, just to piss me off.
That was one of my favourite things about my semester in London England was eating all the food that I had heard reference to on all those british sitcoms that I love so much but had never had a chance to eat. Like Curly Wurlys, oh those are good!
I have no idea what else to report, not much is going on. I move to my new position in a week yesterday and I am looking forward to it. Other than that not much fun.