Thursday, December 29, 2005


A friend of mine got married a month ago and she told me on monday. I already knew but was waiting for her to tell me.
I am not sure how I feel about this. I have nothing against the institution of marriage, not really. BUt I just find it strange when people are having problems and you talk to them one night and they are broken up and then less than a month later they are married. If that is what they want then go for it. More power to you. It just makes me concerned that it was an effort to save the relationship and maybe not the wisest choice. Kind of like when married couples have babies to save the relationship.
Another part of it is that it makes me feel out of place. Here are my friends getting married and it seems that all I am is getting older. I don't know why I am 16 years old when it comes to dating but I am. I can not seem to get past all the stupid games shit and just sort of enjoy it. I am getting better, but right now I feel like I am losing at a game that I don't know how to play. It is depressing. Especially since I feel all this pressure to be in a relationship and not even external pressure, my own internal pressure since I think that it would help me. But at the same time I resist it constantly.
In other news my friend who just got married has a sister who is pregnant. Her sister is married to a artificial inseminator of cattle. I find this to be hilarious. On more than one level. The first being that the man impregnants cows for a living. The second being that growing up on the farm we had "the breeders" as my mothers husband referred to them as. We had one who I thought was kind of cute, he was younger and kind of roughian like. I thought that was cute. Well when I was 16 I was attending queer dances held by Trent U and he was at one of them. I was shocked. I had never seen another gay person from inside my parents circles and it was an hilarious moment when he realised who I was and vice versa.
So artifical inseminators kind of make me laugh and I know someone who has one as a brother in law.


At Tuesday, 03 January, 2006, Blogger St. Dickeybird said...

NOAU, don't feel left out!
Last year I expected to be single for the rest of my life. I've actually felt that way most of my life - meeting someone I wanted to share my future with was the biggest surprise I've ever had!

You're a great guy, good looking, and smart. A good catch. This 'future' crap just takes time.

At Tuesday, 03 January, 2006, Blogger No one asked us said...

Thanks Dickey.

I do have two dates this week with two different men. Whooo!

At Thursday, 05 January, 2006, Blogger epicurist said...

The pressure to be in a relationship can be great, but I always found that so long as I was happy being myself, and living my life that I never really cared all that much about being in a relationship. I merrily lived this way for 4 years before I met RB. During that time, I met a lot of people, had a few dates, but always just approached it as a meet 'N greet as opposed to a date. I find dates rather contrived and stiff. Probably has to do with the fact that I am far too casual. Anyhow, have fun and enjoy yourself on the "dates"! ;-p


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