Cell Block Tango

Dudes
I need to get me to an audition right away (kind of like when Hamlet told Ophelia to get thee to a nunnery (which actually meant he was telling her to go to a whorehouse (why I don't know) ) and I don't think she went. Pretty sure she didn't. In fact I think she O'D'd on some really bad crystal meth and drowned in the bathtub and her family lied and said she drowned in the river just to save face - typical). I have decided that I want to be Mama in Chicago. I don't care that I can not sing. I can dance and I can act and I bet that with enough makeup and padding I could look like a foxy black mama (I already act and talk like one - so why not?)I just want to sing that "If you're good to Mama" song a whole bunch because it is kind of sultry and makes me happy.
Also I want to be in that dance number when they do the "Cell Block Tango" hot damn that is some sultry fun stuff.
As you may be able to tell I watched "Chicago" this weekend and I fucking fell in love with it. You may think that this is just because I am a gay man and am already pre-disposed to the love of musicals (which is not necessarily true because some musicals really suck!!! and I have seen enough to know) but this one rocked. I normally hate Renee Zellweger (or however you spell her last name) but she did not totally annoy me in this film, Catherine Zeta Jones is totally hot and I almost want to do her, and well Richard Gere is eye candy but he must have found it hard to do all that singing and dancing with that alleged hamster up his butt. Poor hamster, is nothing scared anymore?
Anyways, yes this movie rocked. It had me dancing with my friend Amy as we made our way to Shoppers Drugmart on a junk food run because Amy gets a discount and we had to take full advantage of that.
So yes please I want to be a celebrity. Oh yes I do but only in this musical, or maybe if I could play Eva Peron in "EVita" thatt would be okay as well. But seriously why is life not more like musicals. I am sure that I am not the first to ask this question, nor will I be the last but I really want to know why. It is so much fun, they get to sing and dance, and you get all of your emotions out in a really clever, super sub-plot kind of way. It totally rocks.
It is almost as clever as the song "Vogue" by madonna. Which I am sure many of you know, but do not realize that the song is meant to be a tribute to those dance songs of the 50's and 60's where the song told you how to do the dance. (see how nothing has changed in 40 years?)I love that song.
Anyways I digress, but yes that is what I want currently in my life. I also want more sleep because I did not get enough last night.