DON'T WANNA/ but I do

I miss the crim centre.
I really really do.
I have been feeling like crap for the past two days. I went and had my last shift at Robarts yesterday and was dancing up and down the stack so happy that I got to leave that place.
But I also went down to crim to see Andrea (my supervisor) and to see how she was.
I am gonna miss that place so much. This may sound strange but working there gave me a distinct impression that I fit in somewhere. I got along well with all that staff and students and I adored my supervisor. I think that that is really rare. She and I became rather close over the year that I have worked there.
Now I am looking at the database company where I am now employed and it pales in comparison.
It pays twice as much and is a official information professional position, whereas at crim I was the equivilant to a library technician (college degree). But I did such a good job there that I was given actual librarian duties to do. I was cataloguing, creating call numbers, doing reference work, and was in charge when my supervisor was not there. It actually sort of felt like my library and that it was a place I could call home.
Now the place I work at is some office where I have a cubicle (I had an actual office at crim)and all I do is index all day and am a complete stranger. No one in the office really talks to each other, they are all busy being your sterotypical anti-social librarian type.
I realise that I need to get used to the new place and to the full days, but honestly - I want a place that I feel at home in. I don't feel that there.
The other strange news is that I have a second interview at Vaughn, this is for a different position but they told me that they were very happy that i had applied for it and think that it is much more suitable for me then the other position I interviewed for. That makes me feel so happy. I hope that I get it cause I have the feeling that I will be happier.

I have no idea what to title this

So I had an interview today at ProQuest for an indexing position. Not as glammy lifesytleesque as Vaughn public library but pays well and is downtown. So no commuting to Vaughn.
Anyways.
First off I got offered the job this afternoon which is nice that they wanted me and took me right away.
Vaughn has not called my references and are supposed to be getting back to me today or tommorrow so I am assuming that I am not in the running. But even if I do get it I can probably do both jobs since they are both part time.
So I am now an employee of a database company. Hmmm, its nice - I think. I mean I have not started yet but I did not mind indexing at my previous jobs and it is practical information professional experience. Plus it also means that I am not gonna be unemployed in a weeks time, so sigh and yeah!
I must admit that I am totally floored that they offered me the job since I had a nervous breakdown this morning and normally that is not the way to go about getting yourself a new job. But I seemed to manage to pull myself together for it. But now I am sitting here at crim for my second last shift ever and I am feeling the pull.
For those of you who may not know i was diagnosed with depression in February and am currently in treatment for it. I hate it.
I hate being depressed and I like treatment while at the same time hate it. It is such a weird "disease" (I put it like that cause I am assuming that is sort of what it is, but I don't really know). and it puts you in such a weird head space.
So anyways, yes. I just thought I would share that with the world since I am getting over my stigmas attached to depression.
God, I feel like I am coming out again.

HEY EVERYONE I GOT SOMETHING TO SAY (oh how I love strangers with Candy) . . . you can fill in the rest.

That was such a good answer

Well my little pretties

I think that my interview rocked yesterday. I decided that I was gonna get this job and I think that my odds are pretty decent.
I felt really good leaving the library, after having to take another test (sigh)on my reference skills, and I just feel positive about the whole experience.

The interview went so well. First off, the two women interviewing me were really friendly and nice and that went a long way to making me feel comfortable. The next great thing was that out of the five fina; applicants i was the one who was on time for the interview. That may be a little thing but it tends to speak volumes, especially when you are showing up for an interview - usually everything counts.

So during the interview I was as verbose as I could be without being repetitive. In fact the one women kept saying "oh good answer, good answer", while the other women kept reminding her to not break out of acceptable interview behaviour.
So that was nice.

So all in all it was a very positive experience.

And even if I don't get offered the position, I am certain that it will be because someone was better then me and not because I was not good enough. Because I have to say my interview totally rocked!

Not permanent in-between

So much potential.
I never knew it was there.
Its funny, I have had my life all this time. Yet it has never felt like mine. I have always felt like an outsider.
And now, these days it sort of feels like something has changed.
I don't know what it is.
It is an intangible something.
But instead of feeling like I am not good enough, I am beginning to feel like I have much more potential then I ever thought.
I think this is amazing.

PANIC!!!!!

I have an interview tommorrow at the Vaughan public library.
I am very very terrified of this.
It is a permanent position. ANd although it is only part time chances are it will lead to full time if I can get it.
At first I was worried about how I was gonna get there, but I called TTC and York transit and they informed me how I get there, so that is good.
So I have been reviewing all of their services and how their catalogue system works and all that important stuff so I know what is going on.
Crap! I am terrified. Especially since it is a panel interview and right now that is scary as hell.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh those poor cute little innocents.

Won't someone please think of the kittens?

The Haunting

I have named my ghost Bernerd.
I am fond of my ghost.
For those of you who don't know my apartment is haunted. I have twice seen my ghost standing in a corner at 4 am. I don't know what he is doing (I have the feeling it is a man) standing there but it has happened twice and at the exact same time and both times it kind of freaked me right out. It did not scare me but it was kind of weird to just see this white figure standing there.
At first I thought the apartment was haunted cause the temperature in the fridge kept getting turned up from 4 to 6. I was skeptical cause it just could have been me hitting the temperature and turning it up. But one day just to check I turned it down to four, left the apartment and when I came back I checked first thing and it was back up to six.
The ghost and I had a little chat about this and he stopped. Then he started switching the fridge from "reduce exterior moisture" to "energy save". He did that a couple of time and then we talked about it and he stopped. Now his new thing is to open the top left hand corner drawer of my jewelry box. He pulls it open, leaves it ajar and that seems to be it.
We have yet to talk about this.
But I have the feeling that he has to do something to get him through the day so I am thinking of letting him have the jewelry box thing. It is the lesser of the evils and well if it makes him happy.
I always thought it would be so weird to have a ghost but I actually kind of like him. He feels like my protector or something. He is not evil, as far as I can tell. Just a nice room mate who I rarely see.

Another hilarious Death Sentencing

So here is another one from the database of persons sentenced to death in Canada between 1867-1967.
In 1945 Byron Bruce Potter murdered Edna Rogers in Dawson Creek. Hmmm I wonder if Miss Joey Potter knows that she has a relative who was hung to death?
Oh the drama continues even though the show is long gone.