The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig

In my family story time today a mother was trying to help her daughter with the craft.
The daughter did not want help.
She gave her mother a look.
The mother continued to aid her.
Finally the daughter said:
"stop that! You are not my friend!"

I was rather taken aback by her saucy attitude.

Flasher Fridays

Today at the gym, whilst riding the stationary bike I felt a strange sensation in my shorts.

The mesh lining tore and before I knew what was happening my Mr. Happpy flopped out a little bit and flashed the older italian man on the treadmill across from me.

Oh my goodness.

I was a little bit embarassed by this.

However, it did not deter me from finishing my work out.

A Complete Segway

Yesterday at work I had a man approach me looking for books on "machines".
I asked him what kind of machines?
He looked at me like I was asking him if I could have sex with his pet.
So I rephrased the questions: "do you want machine repair?"
small machines?
large machines?
How machines work?
The history of machines?
what is it you are hoping to find?
and his reply was:

"How to read a blueprint."

I looked at him and asked "so why a book on machines?"

"won't it have that information in it?"

"No - probably not"

So I found him a book on how to read and write blueprints.



Call me crazy, but why not ask for a book on how to read blueprints in the first place?

Good News for sexually active calorie counters

I just found out that a tablespoon of semen has about 5 calories.

I had always heard it was around 100 calories.

So now those of us who are watching our waists can indulge in oral activities more often.

Perhaps in performing fellatio one can curb cravings for more caloric ridden indulgences.

(but I find usually lack of sex is the reason we indulge in chocolate therapy in the first place)

Making Hooky

We played hooky on friday.
We had fun all day long.
However, I have no idea what I am doing to this ice cream.
But it was good.