Please punch me in the ass

So I think the thing Em and I were gonna blog about yesterday was our little joke about what her neighbours were gonna see in her apartment yesterday.
Sometimes I get really large knotted muscles in my legs and I ask Em to massage them out, she usually reluctantly agrees and then punches me in the leg when I am not looking. Fun, huh?
Em also has a cat who has a thing about licking. She loves to lick people and she likes to lick my head. She usually won't let me touch her until I have let her lick my head.
So on Monday night my ass was really stiff and sore from the gym. And I jokingly asked Em if she would massage it and she said yes. So I said would it not be a hilarious sight for her neighbours to see her massaging my ass, while her cat licks my head and I scream because she has punched me in the ass.
How would you feel if you saw that in a neighbours apartment?