Bad bears in the big city

I had all my blood samples taken last week.
And that was not as much fun as it could have been.
Is there anything more irritating than not eating for 12 hours and then having some not friendly nurse type/vampire person jab a needle in your arm in a really painful way. It sucks to be not awake and groggy, and then to be wide awake while someone drains 6 test tubes of blood out of you and then don't even give you a cookie!
Also I love that they always ask me if I am afraid of needles. When I used to have a lot more piercings I would laugh at that question. Now I just quietly say "No". But I still think it is funny that they ask me that. But still I can not look as the needle goes into my arm. It makes me uncomfortable.
But the weirdest part of all of this testing is the stool sample. How embarassing is that? Well not really, but since I seem to have the type of brain that is on creative overload I made it embarassing.
First off taking the sample yourself is just weird, but I guess preferable to the idea of someone else doing it for you. But it is even weirder when you are trying to take the sample and your cats are watching you like it is the most fascinating thing that they have ever seen. I was living in terror of getting some of my feces on them. I am well past the Freud stage of wanting to create art with my poo, and i really don't want to encourage my cats to paint the walls with it either.
And so after having to collect the samples myself. I then had to seal them up in an envelope and return them to the lab. This was where I began to imagine all the horrible things that could go wrong. I slip and fall and my samples fall out of my bag and everyone sees them. Or they somehow get wet and leak all over the inside of my man purse or pants or something. Oh all the possible horrors!
But umm, it was uneventful. I dropped it off, the nurse made small talk (which I found cute and funny that she was trying to remove the awkwardness of me handing her a sealed evelope with my stool samples in it - like here is my poo - thank you for bringing me a sample of your shit) Weird!
So I guess all this proves is that I have an over active imagination. Do you think they make a pill to cure that?