Monday, May 16, 2005

Find My Voice ( and sex is not the enemy)

All right
I had a great weekend away where I had this strange, weird, intense moment of feeling like myself. It was wonderful and at the very same time rather estranging. It kind of put me in a bad mood, but I managed to snap out of it. The best part was realizing that I could feel so at home in my body and that there was no need to pretend or be fake (I fake it so real I am beyond fake) and this my dears was amazing!
Perhaps it was just being with D and O who both know me well and therefore put me at ease. Perhaps it was that Derf was there with her new boy who I like quite a lot. Perhaps it was that we were at a place that I have always considered sanctuary. Perhaps it was the fact that I took a nap and enjoyed it, and I rarely take naps cause I hate them. Maybe I have just grown more comfortable with myself and have not noticed whatever it was it was a great moment in time.
So yeah other than that not too much is going on in my world. Job hunting (applied for another one today), I have had two dates with this boy and I think I like him. I feel very relaxed with him which is really novel for me.
Last night I was telling him how I used to ask all my straight male friends if they wanted to make out. They would always say no so it became this thing that I only asked to my friends as a joke. But last night after I told him this he was all like "waht do you want to do?" So I asked him: "wanna make out?" and it was hilarious but then we did not end up kissing for a little while later. Sigh. My goodness. Date number three is on weds at his place. Wish me luck.


At Tuesday, 17 May, 2005, Blogger Snooze said...

It's good to feel comfortable with yourself. Now darling, NOW you can wear the infamous scarf with confidence and just straighten your shoulders and give the rest of us nasty looks if we dare to comment. it sounds like you are finally realizing how wonderful you are.

At Wednesday, 18 May, 2005, Blogger Snooze said...

Best wishes for your date tonight.


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