Find My Voice ( and sex is not the enemy)

All right
I had a great weekend away where I had this strange, weird, intense moment of feeling like myself. It was wonderful and at the very same time rather estranging. It kind of put me in a bad mood, but I managed to snap out of it. The best part was realizing that I could feel so at home in my body and that there was no need to pretend or be fake (I fake it so real I am beyond fake) and this my dears was amazing!
Perhaps it was just being with D and O who both know me well and therefore put me at ease. Perhaps it was that Derf was there with her new boy who I like quite a lot. Perhaps it was that we were at a place that I have always considered sanctuary. Perhaps it was the fact that I took a nap and enjoyed it, and I rarely take naps cause I hate them. Maybe I have just grown more comfortable with myself and have not noticed whatever it was it was a great moment in time.
So yeah other than that not too much is going on in my world. Job hunting (applied for another one today), I have had two dates with this boy and I think I like him. I feel very relaxed with him which is really novel for me.
Last night I was telling him how I used to ask all my straight male friends if they wanted to make out. They would always say no so it became this thing that I only asked to my friends as a joke. But last night after I told him this he was all like "waht do you want to do?" So I asked him: "wanna make out?" and it was hilarious but then we did not end up kissing for a little while later. Sigh. My goodness. Date number three is on weds at his place. Wish me luck.