Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Not so manic now

I managed to survive pride and canada day.
I have no idea why but the two events really mess with my emotions.
I have never been one of those people to find some sort of unsolicited emotional response in a holiday. Most of the time for me, it is a day just like any other day.
However, for whatever reason this time around I found the whole ordeal very trying and exhausting.
I thought it was all relationship stuff.
But then the holiday passed and almost instantly I felt a relief.
I mean that there is still relationship stuff, but I think that is a diversion.
To be honest pride really bothers me. I find it all too commercial and about youth and beauty and it generally leaves out the majority of the people who are supposed to be celebrating it. It alienates them and gives them these stereotypes to either hate or live up to. Which to me always begs the question: "proud about what exactly?"

And well usually on Canada Day I am at the cottage with my friends. This year there is to be no cottage since I told the family I am gay and well, they really don't care for it. I love the cottage, but I am not willing to compromise who I am just to be able to go. I also decided that I was doing a disservice to myself and to gay people by not telling my family the truth and at least giving them the option of learning about gay people or being exposed to a gay person.

So I guess the two holidays have more in common than I was aware. They certainly did bring me down.


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