Weird things people tell me while I am on desk at work

One man was trying to get me to get botox as then he would get a discount for getting another patron to use his Dr. He was going on and on about how much he loves botox and how it has slowed the aging process for him. I at first politley declined and then had to forcibly say no as he persiste.
I then saw him later that day outside the library smoking. My reaction was, you're an idiot! You are wasting all that money on botox just to age yourself faster by smoking. However I then realized that he was probably just evening things out by doing both. Too bad you can not get botox for lungs.

Another man came up to the desk to inform me that he just got out of jail on charges of manslaughter. How nice for him to be so liberal about these things. However, I was not to get the wrong idea, he had only killed the man for smoking crack in front of his now ex-wife and kids. Kind of noble, kind of not.
He also wanted me to know that he was a record holding kick boxing champion and would have a match on TSN this weekend and that I should watch. I told him I did not believe in sports or TV. Here is hoping he never comes back. Sheesh.

An older woman who looks a great deal like Phyllis Diller sat down and wanted to discuss her life with me. Her back problems, bowel problems, urinary tract problems. I was pretty much trapped. However my lovely co-worker called me on the phone with a "reference" question and the woman went away while I was talking on the phone. She went to harrass our security guard who she thinks is her boyfriend.