Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Go on trust it, go on take a chance

So I looked at an apartment this morning and it was beautiful, but not quite me so I have decided against it. But my goodness was the application process like applying to get out of prison. I felt it was a bit much. And it rattled me to the point where I was like "Should I move? I don't have a full time job and that means no security"
So I called everyone (well not everyone, I called 2 people, MSN'd one and my other friend called me by coincidence)and talked about it and I tried to weigh the pros and cons and I kept feeling confused. I hate feeling confused becuase it takes me back to my childhood and my father and I feel trapped and I feel like I will make a bad decision and that my life will suck.
Then I decided to be brave. I decided that this place was not making me happy and full time jobor not I still have enough money saved to pay for rent for at least the summer and I decided that I would do it.
So I did, I gave notice. I am feeling scared but at the same time elated that I will be out of that building and into somewhere happier. And I feel like this seems not like me, but I just wanted to not take it anymore. I was sitting there after sort of deciding that I would stay and it was weighing heavy on my heart. Then Ilooked at my futon and thought of the bed bugs and then I heard a snap. I looked and a mouse was in the trap and that was the deciding factor. No more mice and bugs for me.
I am going to have faith in the universe that it will provide and that everything will be okay. That is my decision to choose what will make me happy.

ps - on a side note i was talking to my supervisor about this and somehow we got onto the subject of T.A's and she was telling me how there was a TA at the centre where she works who had received an essay about capitalism vs proletariatism. But the student had misspelled proletariat with prophelactic all through the essay. I think that it hilarious.

pss - but don't let that hilarious anecdote overshadow the fact that I made a decision, good for myself, the mature thing to do. So nanny nanny boo boo.


At Tuesday, 01 March, 2005, Blogger mainja said...

good on ya babeee!

i'm glad you did.

this is the start of good things.

At Tuesday, 01 March, 2005, Blogger emily said...

Yay for you!

And I'm 12, because "prophelactic"? Hee!

At Wednesday, 02 March, 2005, Blogger St. Dickeybird said...

Good for you!
Your home needs to be your sanctuary, and if you don't feel comfortable with mice and bedbugs, then you won't unwind properly.
I went through it a few months ago, and moving was a fantastic improvement to my life. And i didn't have any security either.
Take the plunge, and enjoy it.

At Wednesday, 02 March, 2005, Blogger Snooze said...

I'm so glad Dickey posted 'cause I was just thinking about how he took the plunge and moved at a time when his job situation wasn't looking too secure, and how much it paid off. C., it's great you took the chance.


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