Go on trust it, go on take a chance

So I looked at an apartment this morning and it was beautiful, but not quite me so I have decided against it. But my goodness was the application process like applying to get out of prison. I felt it was a bit much. And it rattled me to the point where I was like "Should I move? I don't have a full time job and that means no security"
So I called everyone (well not everyone, I called 2 people, MSN'd one and my other friend called me by coincidence)and talked about it and I tried to weigh the pros and cons and I kept feeling confused. I hate feeling confused becuase it takes me back to my childhood and my father and I feel trapped and I feel like I will make a bad decision and that my life will suck.
Then I decided to be brave. I decided that this place was not making me happy and full time jobor not I still have enough money saved to pay for rent for at least the summer and I decided that I would do it.
So I did, I gave notice. I am feeling scared but at the same time elated that I will be out of that building and into somewhere happier. And I feel like this seems not like me, but I just wanted to not take it anymore. I was sitting there after sort of deciding that I would stay and it was weighing heavy on my heart. Then Ilooked at my futon and thought of the bed bugs and then I heard a snap. I looked and a mouse was in the trap and that was the deciding factor. No more mice and bugs for me.
I am going to have faith in the universe that it will provide and that everything will be okay. That is my decision to choose what will make me happy.


ps - on a side note i was talking to my supervisor about this and somehow we got onto the subject of T.A's and she was telling me how there was a TA at the centre where she works who had received an essay about capitalism vs proletariatism. But the student had misspelled proletariat with prophelactic all through the essay. I think that it hilarious.

pss - but don't let that hilarious anecdote overshadow the fact that I made a decision, good for myself, the mature thing to do. So nanny nanny boo boo.