Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Flicker of the future

It is a strange world to live in when you get the bravery to do something very important, to open up the lines of communication, to be told by people that they support you - only to find out that when the pressure is on that they chicken out.
Specfically I am referring to my aunt who is hosting christmas this year. She has been a very supportive Aunt/Mother figure to my sisters and has helped them out a great deal with their growth both spiritually and emotionally.
However, now that I have come out to the whole family and am in a committed relationship this has created a new problem: that I have come out and am in a relationship. I guess everyone is okay with my being gay as long as they don't have to be reminded more than my presence.
My Aunt was asking my sisters about Christmas - saying that I was invited but that Monster Squad was not. That it was too early for him to be there, that it would be too upsetting for some people, that the timing was just not right.
My sister was correct when she said that I probably would not show up without my boyfriend. It is not that I would not go without him (well if I liked my family and was talking to my parents that is), but that I want an invitation to be extended to him. He is a very big, very important part of my life and for the two of us to be treated like second class citizens is unacceptable.
His sister invited me to thanksgiving, I went, I was nervous meeting the whole family but I did it. It was lovely, his parents are okay with the relationship and both his siblings are very supportive. So it bothers me that on the other side of the coin that my relationship with my family is so strained and weird.
The thing that bothers me the most is that my Aunt and Uncle are obviously afraid of my grandmother and the rest of the family and having to admit that their position of certain things does not reflect the moral majority within the family. That kind of wishy washy-ness bugs me. It means that they are hypocrites in my opinion.


At Wednesday, 24 October, 2007, Blogger graymama said...

Ah, this reminds me of when Hubby and I were first dating. He was unacceptable to bring to family gatherings because his hair was longer than mine. God forbid a male have hair down to his butt! I hated seeing my sister with her boyfriend on her arm, while I sat missing Hubby . Eventually, My Father accepted Hubby into the clan because he took care of me after my emergency appendectomy, but we had been together for 5 years at that point. Hubby's family on the other hand took me in with open arms, even though I was an anorexic mess at that time.

Sorry your family sucks, too. {{{{HUGS}}}}

At Friday, 26 October, 2007, Blogger Emiline said...

I'm so sorry that this is happening. However, I am glad that at least Monster Squad's family is cool.

You'd both be welcome at my family's christmas dinner, if that makes you feel any better. Yes, even with my mum (if I lived in Arts House now, she'd actually come in! Man, remember when she refused to come into the building? Crazy. She had an epiphany)!


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