Pretend I'm There

I am absolutely in love with the author Peter McGehee. He wrote two of my all time favourite novels entitled "boys like us" and the sequel "Sweetheart". I had no idea that he had intended for these books to be a trilogy.
But he did.
His partner (for whom he moved to canada for) wrote the third novel from his notes after he died of HIV related causes. Then Doug Wilson also died after completing the third novel of HIV related causes.
This third novel is beautiful.
And it reminds me of how idealistic and inspired I used to be.
When I first saw "Boys Like Us" it was at the only bookstore in Peterborough that had a gay/lesbian section. I used to pick it up all the time and read the back, but for some reason I never bought it. I don't know what I was so afrad of but the book used to terrify me. Perhaps I was not ready for it and I knew that.
I finally bought my copy when Talking Trees was closing and it was deeply discounted. I fell in love with the book, the characters, the setting, the writing, everything. It is as close a perfect novel that I can think of. And for the first time in my life it made me feel normal.
I discovered the sequel about 4 years later, when I was perusing the shelves at Glad Day in Toronto. It was on sale. I immediatly grabbed it and purchased it. I also fell in love and was so happy to be able to read the further adventures of Zero MacNoo and his friends.
I have re-read these two books countless times. They have been my friends whenever I felt bad about being gay (which was often).
Now I only recently discovered the third novel. I am currently reading it. It is a lot harder for me to read than the other two. This one is like a precious gift that I know will be taken away from me as soon as I am done it. The characters are so well done, the plot is beautiful and humane. Discovering that this book even existed was amazing, but I already feel sad that soon these characters will be done. That they will have no more adventures.
I know I can re-read all the books. And I am sure I will do that.
It is more that this time I am closer to where I have wanted to be than ever before. And that scares me.