Sugar Coma

The weather this week has made me tired and cranky.
I fell off the healthy eating truck and bought bagels and chips and then pigged out, but today I must return to the ways of the healthy lifestyle. I can not imagine what will happen if I don't, plus I liked how good it made me feel when I was eating better.
Since having changed my workout routine to be less like that of an olympic contendor I have been feeling better. My body temperature has dropped a little and I am more comfortable.
However it is not doing good things for my self esteem. I am not gaining weight persay, but I am starting to develop muscle at a alarmingly rapid rate. My things have bulked up incredibly in the past month to the point that most of my pants don't really fit me. So when I put pants on I immediatly have the reaction that I am gaining weight. However for the first time in a long time the mirror tells me other wise, so it is kind of strange. I am torn.
Let us tie this in with the fact that I am trying cognitive therapy. This is a form of therapy where you re-learn how to think. You end the negative thought patterns and begin new thought patterns that are not self defeating. So this is hard with y gaining muscle, losing weight dilemma. As I want to tell myself I am getting fat, but logistically I know I am not. So I either have to change my workout to rid myself of bulk, or I just have to accept that I can crush a walnut in my anus.
I don't know - both are so tempting.